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Thursday, December 31, 2009

Goodbye old life (:

It was an ear-cracking bomb-like night Indeed. Today is the start of a New Year and a New Life. I guess I really need to change a lot from my attitudes. I truly believe that nobody`s perfect, but I also believe that it`s a matter of choice. When you think you`re perfect, then you`re perfect. Not literally, but Specifically.

Okay, I really don`t know what I`m saying right now. Haha.

I am honestly willing to change for the better, not for the worst of me.

I promise, I won`t stalk PORN much.

Porn is basically the Codename of my crush and my cousin`s [Din-Din] ex-crushie. This porn guy was the guy-who-was-almost-gonna-court my cousin. At first, I am not really attracted to him and just treated him as my older brother because he sounds more mature than me. And FYI, He was my seatmate!

OMO!

K, then when I heard that he decided not to court my cousin, I felt sad, Swear! Because my cousin was really expecting him to do that, and was literally slowly falling in-love with him, too. So there, I felt sad for both of them. I decided not to ask more of their decisions and it made our relations with each other, far. I mean, me and din-din weren`t talking much with ourselves, just like we usually do before, also with porn.

Anyway, after that incident, I was slowly realizing that I am already talking and asking much about porn to my classmates. I am always updated with his daily life, like where he is, where he was and where he is going.

I didn`t realize that what I`m doing is basically wrong. I kept it with myself first because I am still on the process of knowing if I am really sure of what I`m thinking. Then after a week or so, I admitted it to my close friends. They were not totally shocked but still, they`re asking, "Diba nag-court kay din-din yun dati?" and I was like, "Yeah. But, dati lang yun diba?" then they`re just smiling, I know it`s fake. I know that they don`t like me liking porn, but, I can`t help not to like him. I mean, he is too like-able. Is that wrong?

They`re worrying about me and my relation to Din-din.

I decided that we should just keep it as a secret from Din-din. But then eventually i realized I was wrong and should admit also to her about my feelings. One day, I finally had the guts to admit it to her. I told her that I like him, and asked her if she`s mad. She just laughed. Laughed like me telling a funny joke. And told me, "`Nu ka ba! Ang tagal na nun. Sabi ko na nga ba eh". And laughed again. I didn`t realize that SHE COULD UNDERSTAND. Then she showed me her biggest smile, and eventually it made my day.

Then we started talking about him, and nothing but him. She told me how sweet he is, and then I just agree.

Any, these past few months, porn guy is giving me sweet sentiments. I am not sure of what he is feeling and I don`t want to come up with my own understanding of his feelings. Please don`t make this hard for me.

If we don`t have the same feelings, please don`t act like you do, I might misunderstood your dying sweetness for me.

He is giving me a lot of goosebumps lately.

I swear I am not gonna wait for him on YM anymore. I am always waiting in vain for his love.

LMFAO.

Welcome, 2010!

Welcome 2010!

I am finally done with my blog. I promise, this will be the last blog I`m gonna make for this year. Haha. Funny. Next year, I`m gonna make lots of blog. Kidding (: Anyway, I am so excited later. There will be lots of ear-cracking-bomb-like fireworks.

Do you still believe that jumping 50 times every 12MN of January 1 will make you tall?

My answer is, YES I DO! Hahaha!

I still believe in that same old superstition, and guess what? I am jumping with my mom.

My mom is the craziest human being ever. She always go with the flow and always try to be IN just like any other teenager. The problem is, she is not a teenager. LMFAO XDD But FYI, She`s just 36. You`ll understand, Right?

Any, I promise I am gonna jump more than 50 times later. It would`nt just make me happy, but it will also BURN my fats.

lol.

My mom lectured me last midnight of how my body regulates, the topic is about the muscles.

I didn`t know my mom was so smart. I started realizing that she was really true. Haha.

Okay, we ended until 3 in the morning. My mom is so FLEXIBLE, wow.

She can bend her legs better than me. Knowing that she is already 36.

LOL. Hahaha. Oh I forgot, My mom is a dancer.

Anyway, after that, we started talking about my dad again. She and him are already separated, but not legally separated.

They keep it as a secret, but I know it already. I clearly understand the reasons why they decided that. What I need is for them to tell me the truth, only the truth and nothing but the truth. I wanna hear the reasons from their mouths, not from other people.

Any, I shouldn`t be like this. I should be happy. New Year, New Life, New ME.

Here are some of my New Year`s Resolution for this Year.

1. I will finish my Homeworks first before doing anything else.
2. Be Focused on School Stuffs so I won`t fail.

3. Participate in Class Discussions.
4. Always share my thoughts and opinions.
5. Be friendly.

6. Always soften my words in case I have to eat it.
7. Minimize my Trashtalk.
8. Minimize my eating habit. XDD

9. Don`t spend too much money on useless things.
10. CHANGE FOR THE BETTER!

Okay. That is just SOME of my Resolutions. I don`t think I`ll accomplish all of that, but it`s worth a try.

Love Avenue

Love Avenue
© Pao 2010.

PROLOGUE
" Love means to commit oneself without guarantee, to give oneself completely in the hope that our love will produce love in the loved person. Love is an act of faith, and whoever is of little faith is also of little love." - Erich Fromm

Chapter 1

I was walking down the street and decided to buy an Ice Cream to lessen the hotness. " Grabe, ang init naman!" I whispered to myself. As I was walking downtown, I saw Evans who was so confused. He was looking at a small paper with a note. I went closer to him and ask him why. " Hoy, Adik. Anong ginagawa mo?" But he wasn`t noticing me, and still focused on the sheet of paper. So I tapped him on the shoulder. " Ah- Kaye. Andyan ka pala." O__o Adik to ah, I thought.

" Oo, kanina pa. Bat ka ba tingin ng tingin dyan sa paper?" I asked with confusion.
" Ah-eh. Kasi. Ano. Uhm."
" Uhmm? Ano next, Mmm? ANO NGA?"
" Kasi si Shy. I invited her for a dinner but unfortunately, I lost my wallet."
" Ah. Yun lang pala." I handed him P3,000 and he was a bit shocked. Then he hugged me for like 5 seconds and thanked me.
" Thanks, Kaye. Thanks!" and ran.

Kung pwede ko lang siyang pigilan, gagawin ko. Pero sino ba naman ako? I`m not in the place para gawin yon. *sigh* Oh by the way, my name is Kaye. You may think of me as the Antagonist, but actually, I don`t wanna be part of this story. I don`t wanna be one with the broken heart at all.

Any, as I was walking thru the store, I finally bought my double-dutch Ice Cream. It was a very large cone, so I decided to chill one the big blue umbrella outside the store. As I was there, I was thinking of all the possibilities of why he chose not to be with me. I was comparing her with me and think of all the similarities and differences, then I thought, I was really such a brat. Natulala ako. When can a guy possibly like someone who has only the good face knowing that she is the meanest girl in the world? When can a guy possibly like someone like me?

I suddenly felt the ice cream melting on my hand. I just stared at it and then at one split second, I realized everything. Then a guy went near me and asked me if I`m okay, I didn`t notice that he was just on the other umbrella. " Uh- Ohh. Okay lang ako, Thanks." I answered. " Are you sure?" He asked again. " Of course." I answered with a smile. Hindi ko napansin na nakatingin na pala ako sa mga mata niya. I was just staring at his eyes while he was talking to me. Parang natameme ako. " Uhmm? Miss?" he was asking me with confusion. And ako, nakatulala pa din ako sa mga mata niya. Then he tapped me on the shoulder, dun lang ako natauhan. Then I hurried down and walk as fast as I can. It`s like I left him hanging. " Thank You." I yelled as I was walking away.

I almost forgot that I need to get home by 6 for our family dinner. It was already 6:20 on my watch. So I decided to run, since 3 blocks nalang yung bahay na namin. I apologized to my mom and my dad for being late, and it seemed like they didn`t care. They just asked me to sit and it seemed like nothing happened. We were laughing, just like we usually do every dinner, and somehow it made my day. After the dinner, I went to my room and throw myself on the bed. Then I heard someone laughing from the other house, I stood up and saw Evans from the window. He seemed so contented that everything from his surroundings didn`t matter.

He seemed so happy. I wish I was the one making him happy..

Chapter 2

" Another day, Another life." My mom always says. But it seemed like It was just another day, not another life. I prepared my things and decided to commute even my mom insisted. I was walking down the road with my blue sling bag and saw Evans from the other side of the road. I was a bit schocked because he didn`t bring his car. I called his name and shouted. He turn his back and saw me with unusualness, I just waved my hand and smile. He seemed to smile too, just half-smile. I ran across him and I asked him why he was walking and not driving and blah, blah, blah. He said he was gonna meet someone somewhere and the roads were very narrow so he didn`t bring his car.

We just talked about our childhood days on our way to that somewhere. And then, when we were close to that somewhere, I saw a girl that`s so familiar to me. I didn`t seem to care. I was still talking and I didn`t notice that Evans was already focused on the same girl. It was Shy, of course. That`s why she was so familiar. Bakit di ko man lang naisip yon? I talked to myself. Shy was shocked when she saw me, and I can see that unusualness on her smile. I just pretended to smile too and decided to hurry down to school so I would`nt distract their sweetness.

I went inside the school and saw the other students gossiping and couldn`t get the chance to look at me, I know the topic was me, Alright. I was always the hot topic inside the campus, and that, that never changed. People seemed to notice all the negatives of me. And Hindi na bago yun sa kin. I just widened my eyes at them and they seemed to stop and run. Then I saw Jessie from the opposite building, She was calling my name while waving his hands. I smiled. Jessie is the only humanoid that I consider my true friend. I may have lots of friends surrounding me, But I know they`re just all fake. I smiled with relief knowing that in everything I do, there is always that one person to care, and eventually that person is the one hugging me right now.

" Do you have any business later?"
" Uhh- I don`t know. Wala naman."
" Good! We`ll have a party at ours. And you surely need to come."
" Uhm, But--"
" No buts. Madaming gwapo dun no! Bye, Loves you. Xo" Kissed me on the cheek and ran.

I hurried on my classroom na rin because it`s 5 minutes to 8 already, I might be late. My studies is also the one I should be focused on. I am not planning to fail any of my subjects because it is only the one I am busy of. Anyway, After the class, I went home and get ready for the party. I wore my black bubble dress and my red sparkling stiletto shoes. I tie my hair sideways and looked at the mirror, I looked at myself for 5 minutes. I may have all the glamour and all the precious things, but there`s always that one thing that differs me from the others, and it`s basically my weakest point. I may be strong from the outside, but eventually, I am weak from the inside. They should`ve known me better than judging me of something i`m not. I sighed. *Phone Rings*

" Hey, Sweet thing. The driver is already waiting outside your house. You need to come here na! Xo."

I peeked on my window and saw the car. I hurried down and kissed my mom and dad. Nakalimutan ko nang magpaalam but I know they`ll let me naman. Then I hurried papunta sa car. The driver started the engine, fixed the mirror and then smiled at me. I smiled, too. " Shall we?" The driver asked, I just nod my head. Habang papalayo na kame sa bahay, I saw Evans with Shy again. They were laughing with their silly jokes, I guess I should stop believing that one day he`s gonna be mine. *sigh*

I guess I should forget about him and just give up. *sigh*

Chapter 3

I didn`t notice that we were already near Jessie`s place. I was stunned because their house was full of lights and it was glimmering. The driver stopped infront of their gate and Jessie was hurrying down to me. She kissed me on the cheek and then we started laughing. She pulled me inside their house and then I saw a lot of familiar faces. I saw tita and tito on the center of the stage together, holding hands. And then I also saw Jessie`s little nieces and cousins. Their family was really close with ours.

" Jes, Ano meron?" I asked.
" Ohh. I forgot to tell you."
" Ang alin?"
" Si Ate Bianx and his long-time Boyfriend is gonna be married na!"
" Wooaah. Really? As in?!"
" Yes. Kaya may party! Cool no? Hey, look! They`re so sweet oh." Jes pointed Ate Bianx and then we went like :3

Ate Bianx was Jes` cousin. She was our Ate. We were often called the Power Pout Girls because we were like bestfriends. We often hang together in Ate Bianx` place and do a lot of girly stuffs. But when we got busy with our school duties, and Ate Bianx started to have a boyfriend, Medyo nabawasan yung paggiging together namin. But were still close though. (: Any, when ate bianx saw us looking at her, she called us and we had our biggest hug. She kissed us on the cheek just like the old times. And then she intentionally whispered to his boyfriend, " Ui, wag magselos, haha." then we all laughed. JC is so lucky with Ate Bianx. It`s like she`s everything a guy could ever wish for.

Any, while the program is starting, and the host is finally introducing the two lovely doves to the guests, me and Jes decided to sit and focused on them. After that, I excused myself and went to the CR. Medyo nakalimutan ko pa kung saang part ng bahay yung CR nila. I was excusing myself to every person I see who was blocking my way. When I got there, I sighed with relief. Parang dumaan lang ako sa napakatinding gyera. lmao. :-J Then suddenly, someone bumped at me. Nagkatinginan kame sa mata pero saglit lang yun kasi feeling ko puputok na talaga ako. Hay, Super deadma nalang. As I was on the CR, I keep remembering why the face of the guy was kind of familiar to me. But then I really can`t remember where I saw him. As I was about to go back to our table, I was shocked to see the same guy outside the comfort room. I covered my face habang naglalakad.

" Oi, Miss! Miss!" OMG. I`m sorry for bumping you. I keep whispering those words repeatedly but then naabutan pa din niya ako. I. Am. So. Dead. " I am SORRY!" I shouted. Biglang napalingon yung mga tao sa amin, then he covered me. I think he was embarrased so he apologized to the people. Then he pulled me outside the house. Grabe, natatakot na ako. I was waiting for him to shout at me but then he just laughed. Hinampas ko siya ng malakas and then walked out.

" Gago!" I was really mad.
" A-ano? Wait. Di mo naiintindihan." He was still laughing.
" Layuan mo ko."
" Don`t you remember me?" he asked but I`m still not looking at him.
" NO."
" You know, Double Dutch Ice Cream. . .Melting. . ." I was kinda guessing him but I remain silent. When I finally remembered where I saw him, I left him kahit alam kong may sasabihin pa siya.

" Waitt-- Are you single?"

Chapter 4

Two weeks after the Party at Jes` House, Medyo back to normal na lahat. I was infront of my laptop that time and was browsing the net. Medyo binato ko nalang lahat ng focus ko sa paglalaro sa Facebook. I was harvesting my plants on Farmville ng biglang nag-pop-up yung name ni Evans sa Notifications ko. I viewed his profile and saw 'In a Relationship with Shyza Cullantes.' I guess they`re officially together. *sigh*

In the morning, I asked my mom to drive me to school for a change. I was kind of sad because of last night, But Hey, I am strong right? I just chose to be numb and selfless and move on, I can get through this, I thought. All I have to do is ignore everything.

" Thanks, mom."
" Are you sure you`re okay, Baby?"
" Of course. I am always okay. I love you."
" I love you too baby. Sge, I`ll head to my office."

And again, I felt alone. I`ve always felt alone in my whole life. Not really my whole life, but still, one-fourth of my whole life. I saw Jesi and she suddenly hugged me. She pulled me into the corner and said that she have a surprise for me. I was confused because I didn`t have any idea about her plan or whatever she`s doing. " Hoy, CLOSE YOUR EYES!!" She shouted, So I closed my eyes. " Okay, Open slowly. ." As I was opening my eyes, I saw the guy again! Oh My God! Ano bang iniisip nitong babaeng `to. :|

" Okay. Is this your surprise, sweetie? Well, Thank You." I smiled at Jesi.
" Wala pa tayong proper Introduction."
" Ah-- May sinasabi ka, JESI?"
" I said if we can have our proper introduction."
" Ah, JESI? Hindi kita marinig. Sige, alis na ko."
" Wait. I`m Ken. And, You are?" he offered his hands.
" Oh, Ikaw pala yan, Ice Cream guy." we shaked hands.
" Hi, Miss Kaye. Can I invite you out for dinner?"
" Well. . Let`s see. I don`t know." I grinned.
" Okay, Well, if you don`t know, we can have our dinner now." he drag me out to school and locked me in his car. I saw Jesi smiling and waving at us on the tilted window of his car. " Ugh!! Bwiset, Bwiset, Bwiset!" I shouted.

He turned on the engine and drive his way to a place I am unfamiliar of. First, binastos na niya ako. Second, He`s cutting me out from school. And third, he`s forcing me to go with him to a place I don`t even know! This is so ridiculous! What if he`s gonna rape me? What if his business is human trafficking? Oh my God, Save me!

" Excuse me, KEN *I emphasized his name*. Where are you taking me?"
" To a Paradise."
" You know what? Ang labo mo talaga! Hindi na kita maintindihan!"
" Well, You have to." He grinned.
" Alam mo bang pwede kitang kasuhan sa ginagawa mo?! This is Kidnapping!!"
" I know. But I also know you wouldn`t do that." He laughed.
" Natutuwa pa ako sayo nung una eh. Pero ngayon, ewan ko na!"
" Sorry, Dear. :)"
" Dear!? Close ba tayo? Feeler ka much."
" Okay, Sorry babe."
" Tigilan mo nga ako, Gago!" He laughed again.

When we finally arrived at the Paradise, I was stunned. Not because It was like a Paradise, But it was in a Carinderia. This guy really is out of his head. He is so getting on my nerves! Ughhh! " Gago ka talaga! Gago!" I punched him on his left and walked away. Then I looked for directions. I realized that It was just near our school. Pinatagal lang niya and inikot-ikot yung way para hindi ko mahalata. I was about to run when I remembered that my bag was still on his car. I went back to get my bag and then started running. When I got to school, it was already 8:45 and the first subject was about to end. I was really mad that I was bursting out with tears. Then I feel like someone was hugging me from the back.

I turned my back and saw him. .

Chapter 5

Ken`s POV
At the party, I saw the girl that I met on the Ice Cream store. I was surprised because I didn`t know she was a friend of Jessie. I saw her walking papunta sa CR and decided na abangan siya dun. I pretended to bump her so that somehow she could remember me. But then on a split second, she was already gone. I waited for her outside but then she was covering her face. I thought she was only playing games so I tried to catch her. But then when she yelled and started shaking, I knew she was scared. So I pulled her out from the house and then I started laughing. I was laughing because she was so cute, and really scared, and I don`t even know the reason why.

A day after the incident at the party, I went to my Godsister and asked informations about the Ice Cream Girl. She said that her name was Kaye. They`ve known each other since childhood, and blah blah blah. I asked Jessie to help me with Kaye, and she agreed. A week passed and I was still thinking and planning on how I will introduce myself to Kaye. I should really apologize to her for acting that way, I thought.

Two weeks later, I planned my surprise for Kaye. But she was still Mad and still acted like I was invisible. I asked her if she could have a dinner date with me, but then she said I don`t know. It seemed like She doesn`t have a plan to go out with me later so I forcely drag her to my car.

When we arrived there, I saw the disbelief in her eyes. I know the front was a carinderia. But it wasn`t actually where I`m taking her to. There was a secret passage inside that carinderia that I actually prepared, just for her. I thought that will be the time for me to get to know her even more. But then she was all mad, I know she was about to cry and I wanna hug her. She ran and I followed. When I saw her, She was finally bursting out with tears. I hurried and hugged her real tight.

* * *